The Hurt
You find it hard to trust or own intuition. Guilt and obligation have become your guiding compass in making decisions. You may identify as a people-pleaser. You’ve learned to shut down your own feelings so they won’t jeopardize your relationships. You may even have trouble identifying who you are as a person because it did not feel safe to have autonomy or a separate sense of self.
If any of these are true, your parents’ emotional maturity may have been a factor. They may not have had the emotional capacity to provide predictable and loving adult interactions with you. Instead they were self-referential, not being able to see past their own feelings and needs to see you as a separate person with your own feelings and needs. They looked to you for comfort, but always rejected it when you offered it.
