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I approach therapy with a simple question: 

"What do you want out of life, and what is holding you back from that?" 

This question, and your answers, is where we begin the journey. I look forward to hearing from you.

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April 12, 2018

Beyond the Behavior

How many times have we heard someone say, “he’s so manipulative” or “she’s so bossy”? We’re trying to make sense of others’ behaviors; and when we do, we often blame or label others in a negative way. We’re not even labeling their behavior – we’re labeling them.

In reality, all (well, maybe mostly all) behavior is functional.

We are trying to:

  1. Meet a need
  2. Solve a problem, or
  3. Express an emotion

When we take time to understand the reason behind others’ behavior, we increase our ability to empathize with them. We might be able to understand where they’re coming from, or at least appreciate the legitimate need they are trying to meet.

This applies to ourselves as well. We can often be our own harshest critic, pushing ourselves to do better and berating ourselves for not doing enough. When we realize that we’re just trying to meet our own needs, we can have self-compassion and find a more helpful way to meet that need.

Try to see beyond the behavior today.