Sometimes sexual abuse doesn't feel violent and you may not feel like you can label it abuse. You knew you didn't want the sexual encounter, but you froze and didn't say no.
Our bodies react to traumatic situations with fight, flight, or freeze. If you froze and it haunts you that you weren't able to fight or get away, I want you to know that your body made a split-second decision that you were safest to freeze. You can learn to have compassion on yourself, and not berate yourself for your body's reaction. You can learn to feel safer in your body and your surroundings. You can also let go of unhelpful beliefs you've created about yourself based on the abuse.